Once Upon A Secret

Once Upon A Secret-My Affair with President John F. Kennedy and its Aftermath by Mimi Alford is the story of a nineteen year old White House intern who had an eighteen month affair with President Kennedy.  It is a simple, easy read and was quite interesting, in that it gives a broader sense of the womanizing that must have gone on.  My guess is that there are/were hundreds of women who could have written the same My Affair with President John F. Kennedy type book.  I don't mean that all of his affairs were under the same circumstances, but that I think there were many, many stories that could be told.

Ms. Alford did a good job exploring and relating how her experiences affected her life.  The story made me sad for her, but I don't believe that she necessarily regrets the affair.  It appeared to me that she regrets how she handled the next forty years of her life with having to hold onto that secret.

While reading the book, it took me back to being a nineteen year old college girl and how easily girls of that age can readily be taken in by power, love, money, etc.  And how those experiences play out for the rest of a woman's life, which I dealt with daily in my work as a psychotherapist working with women.  The imbalance of power is a powerful thing that many use to their advantage.  Sadly, President Kennedy appeared to be one of those who did just that.

To Kill A Mockingbird

Ok, I know...I have probably run it into the ground that To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee is my all-time absolute book.  In January my afternoon book group decided that we would read a classic book every other month and, of course, I piped in with To Kill A Mockingbird, which was then chosen as our March read.  After I began reading it, I realized  that it has been probably fifteen years since I last read it.  Oh My God...it is still the absolute best book I have ever read!  I so thoroughly enjoyed this last re-read!

I am going to go under the assumption that everyone reading this blog has read To Kill A Mockingbird.  (If you haven't, please do so!), so I won't go into the story.  Instead, I will share what some of my favorite lines from the book are.  I was surprised, at this my probably tenth time reading the book, that some of these lines still made me cry!

So, in order as they appear in the book, here are my favorite lines:

Dill was upset at how the prosecutor was treating the defendant and Scout was trying to explain that he was just doing his job.  Dill remarked that Atticus didn't do the same and Scout finally was able to explain about Atticus: "He's the same in the courtroom as he is on the public streets.".

"Miss Jean Louise, stand up.  Your father's passin'". 

Atticus talking to Jem: "As you grow older, you'll see white men cheat black men every day of your life, but let me tell you something and don't you forget it-whenever a white man does that to a black man, no matter who he is, how rich he is, or how fine a family he comes from, that white man is trash."

Jem speaking: "Scout, I think I'm beginning to understand some thing.  I think I'm beginning to understand why Boo Radley's stayed shut up in the house all this time...it's because he wants to stay inside."

"Hey, Boo, I said."

"He turned out the light and went into Jem's room,  He would be there all night, and he would be there when Jem waked up in the morning."

Powerful book...

And as an aside: after I finished reading this last weekend, we watched the movie...just as powerful!

I also have to add that one of my most fervent wishes is that upon Ms. Harper Lee's death, a sequel is found.  But then, do I want that?  Could it possibly live up to her first? Hmmmm...

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See came out in 2005, I believe.  Many of my friends had read it and loved it.  But with my usual reluctance to read stories from/about other countries, I just never got to reading it.  Well, I finally did read it and it was good.  It is the story of friendship taking place in nineteenth century China between two young girls, Lilly and Snow Flower.  The girls were matched as laotong, or "old same", a relationship that is expected to last their lifetime and, in many ways, be a stronger bond than marriage.

There is much sorrow and grief in the story as the girls develop into women and live their lives.  They have a grave misunderstanding that affects their lives to the end.  As others have talked about with the book, the foot binding ritual and how it affected the women's lives is striking.

The two things that stood out about the book for me were that I loved how the story was told from an eighty year old woman's perspective.  Very touching.  And the second thing that I found absolutely fascinating was the really found in the back of the book in the Author's Note and Acknowledgments.  In the book, the two girls use a secret language, called nu shu,  to write to each other on a fan that is passed back and forth between them.  In the Notes, the author writes about "a written language used solely by women and it had been kept a 'secret' from men for a thousand years."  Ms. See had come across a brief mention of nu shu while doing research for an article and began to search for more information.  It was so interesting to me to read her notes about nu shu.

Good story and I learned some interesting things!

The Sense of an Ending

The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes was one of my book group's choices for February.  I had read about the book prior to it being chosen and it was on my to-be-read list, so I was happy when I learned that it was presented and chosen.  I wasn't present for that meeting, so I didn't get to vote on it, so I was even happier when I was told that it was the February choice.  And what a great book group pick it was! (note: this novel won the 2011 Man Booker Prize)


 From the first page I was grabbed.  The author starts the story with the narrator listing six things that he remembers "...in no particular order". Of the list he says:

"This last isn't something I actually saw, but what you end up remembering isn't always the same as what you have witnessed."

 And so begins the book.  It is a story of memories and how we shape those memories, sometimes to our advantage, or at least, to our actual emotional survival. 

The story begins with the Tony, the narrator of the story, discussing his school days in England, when a new student, Adrian, joined Tony and his two friends in their small clique.  Adrian was a bit of a mystery, never talking about his family, and seemingly more serious about school than the other boys.  The four boys went off to college and slowly drifted apart. Tony got involved with Veronica and introduced her one weekend to his three friends from high school.  The following year, Tony and Veronica broke up, and shortly after, Tony received a note from Adrian asking permission to go out with Veronica.  Tony replied with a brief, terse postcard, stating "...everything is jolly fine by me, old bean.", but after a few weeks, sat down and wrote a letter to Adrian, warning him about Veronica.   Following graduation of college, Tony took off to the United States to travel for a bit.  Upon his return home, he learned that Adrian had committed suicide.

The book is written forty years later, as Tony relates all of this past history.  Tony retired and had an ex-wife he remained friends with and one daughter.  He had led a fairly uneventful life, until one day a letter arrived regarding the estate of Mrs. Sarah Ford, who was Veronica's mother.  Tony learned that she had left him five hundred pounds and two "documents".  He learned that one of the documents was Adrian's journal and that Veronica was in possession of it and was not ready or willing to let him have it.  Thus begins Tony's quest to search the past and try to figure out the truth versus his memory of the truths.

The story is about how we remember the past and what we have done with our life.

The author wrote:

"What you fail to do is look ahead, and then imagine yourself looking back from that future point.  Learning the new emotions that time brings.  Discovering, for example, that as the witnesses to your life diminish, there is less corroboration, and therefore less certainty, as to what you are or have been."

 My book group had a great discussion about this book!  It is a short, quick read, but one that will long stay with you.  I will reread this book in the future!

Ella Minnow Pea and A Secret Kept

Two of my February readings, both very different from each other!  I received Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn as one of several books from my wonderful son and daughter-in-law for Mother's Day.  I didn't get to it until a couple of weeks ago.  It is a quick, easy and funny read.  First of all, I am sure that you have caught the meaning of the name of the book already...if not, say it out loud and you will get it.  It's cute.  And perfect for this story!  The book is subtitled "a progressively lipogrammatic epistolary fable".  What does that mean?  Well, "lipogrammatic" is defined as:

Lip`o`gram`mat´ic    (lĭp`ô`grăm`măt´ĭk)

a.

1.

Omitting a letter; composed of words not having a certain letter or letters; as, lipogrammatic writings.

Epistolary is defined as:

e·pis·to·lar·y  (-pst-lr)

adj.

1. Of or associated with letters or the writing of letters.

2. Being in the form of a letter: epistolary exchanges.

3. Carried on by or composed of letters: an epistolary friendship.

Does that help?

The story is told in a series of letters written to the various characters of the book, which helped make the book a quick read.

Ella Minnow Pea is a young girl who lives on the fictional island of Nollop, off the coast of South Carolina.  The island is named for Nevin Nollop, who wrote the panagram "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog". (quick note: I could not find if Nevin was a real person or not).  Anyway, the citizens of Nollop are very committed to written communication and are devoted followers of their founder, Mr. Nollop.  So when a young girl discovers one day that the letter Z has fallen off of the Nollop monument, the town goes into a sort of panic mode, with the town council meeting to decided what they should do.  It is agreed that the loss of the letter Z must be a message from the deceased Mr. Nollop and so the council decrees that the letter Z can no longer by used by the town people, either in speech or written communication, including any reading that might have the letter Z in it.  So the good people of Nollop begin to adjust to a world without Z.  Then one day, the letter Q falls off of the monument.  And so it goes...letters start falling off, one at a time.  And each time it is decreed that the fallen letter can no longer be used.  And to make things even more difficult, a new law is passed that after three uses of a discarded letter, the citizen is banned from the island.

As you can imagine, things get quite difficult for the town people trying to communicate, read, sing, etc.  Ducks are not allowed on the island anymore because they make a sound with the Q.  When the letter D is discovered fallen, the past tense disappears.  As you can imagine, by the end of the book, the letters written are quite difficult to make out!  Thankfully, a solution is found, but I won't tell you the ending!

This was a fun book, and had the feeling of a classic to me.  I wonder how many of you out there have read it???

A Secret Kept was written by Tatiana DeRosnay, who also wrote Sarah's Key.  I loved Sarah's Key, so I was excited to finally pick up the author's latest book.  The story in A Secret Kept did not affect me nearly as much as Sarah's Key did, so I was a bit disappointed in the book.  It begins with two adult siblings (Antoine and Melanie) returning to a seaside village for a birthday weekend trip.  The village is where they used to vacation as children with their parents, but they had not been there for over thirty years when their mother had died, and life changed for them.  While there, Melanie remembered something quite disturbing about the last time they had been there with their parents.  As they were driving home after their weekend, Melanie was driving and started to tell Antoine what she had remembered.  Before she was able to tell him, she lost control of the car and was badly injured.  While Melanie is recovering, she eventually begins to remember what she wanted to tell Antoine about her memory that involved their mother.  After she tells him, Antoine begins to seek out others who might be able to help him understand Melanie's memory and get to the truth about his mother.  It was rather interesting and did keep my attention to finish the book.  I half expected to learn that the mother was still alive, but that wasn't the case.

Do I recommend it?  Yes, it was an easy, interesting read, so if you are looking for something light to read, it would do.  But don't expect anything like Sarah's Key.  It definitely did not live up to that expectation.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Lacks is an amazing book.  I personally think every woman should read it...it is just fascinating and I can't believe that it took me so long to read it.  I think that part of the reluctance was my long-standing aversion to non-fiction, which I am slowly realizing was just ignorance on my part!  Perhaps that it too harsh...perhaps I had just never read gripping non-fiction growing up...I don't know...

The book fulfilled my on-going longing for genealogical research reading, although it is not really a book about genealogy per se. 

A very brief summary of the story is that Henrietta Lacks was a poor black woman whose cells were, unknownly to her, taken in 1951 as she was struggling with cervical cancer.  Henrietta was thirty one years old, the mother of ten children when she went to John Hopkins Hospital reporting that "I got a knot on my womb."  Henrietta had been telling her cousins for over a year that she had this "knot", before she went to the clinic at the hospital. A few days after her visit to the clinic, she was diagnosed with Stage 1cervical cancer. At that time, cervical cancer was treated with inserting radium into the patient.  During Henrietta's first treatment, some cells were removed for biopsies.  None of that was unusual.  Usually the cells that were removed would die.  Henrietta's cells didn't.

Although Henrietta nor her family knew that the cells had been taken, the cells were cultured for research that over the years ended up having immeasurable impact in the world of medicine. The cells taken from Henrietta Lacks were called HeLa cells. 

Taken from: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/Henrietta-Lacks-Immortal-Cells.html#ixzz1mSxZzFnz:

"Why are her cells so important?
Henrietta’s cells were the first immortal human cells ever grown in culture. They were essential to developing the polio vaccine. They went up in the first space missions to see what would happen to cells in zero gravity. Many scientific landmarks since then have used her cells, including cloning, gene mapping and in vitro fertilization."

The HeLa cells have helped uncover secrets of cancer, and fertilization.  And the research has generated billions of dollars for the medical industry.

The author reported that she first learned of HeLa cells in 1988 while attending a biology class in community college. Thus began her quest to learn more about the woman who had unknowingly contributed so much to the world.  It turned out to be quite a journey for the author.  As she wrote in the prologue:

"The Lackses challenged everything I thought I knew about faith, science, journalism, and race.  Ultimately, this book is the result.  It's not only the story of HeLa cells and Henrietta Lacks, but of Henrietta's family-particularly Deborah-and their lifelong struggle to make peace with the existence of those cells, and the science that made them possible."

Ms. Skloot slowly developed relationships with some of Henrietta's family and learned more about her life and their lives following the death of Henrietta.  It is fascinating reading, great detective work, and amazing genealogical research.

Read, read, read this book!

On Canaan's Side and The Year of Magical Thinking

I got On Canaan's Side by Sebastian Barry for Christmas (one of the books I had requested!).  One of my book groups had read Annie Dunne (reviewed in this blog on 2/23/2011) by the same author, and since I had enjoyed his previous books (he also wrote The Secret Scripture), I was anxious to read it.  What was interesting and surprising to me, is that I had not realized that it was about the same family as Annie Dunne!  As I was reading On Canaan's Side, I rather slowly realized that the story was being told by Annie Dunne's sister, Lilly. 

The story is told in the first person by Lilly.  It begins with the chapter "First Day Without Bill" and ends with the chapter "Seventeenth Day Without Bill".

Bill was Lilly's grandson, whom she raised.  He had gone to fight in the Gulf War, came home and committed suicide.  As Lilly mourns for the loss of Bill, she tells the story of her 89 years and the losses that she has suffered.  Her brother, Willie, was killed in World War I.  A soldier friend of Willie's, Tadg, came to pay his respects to the family and he and Lilly fell in love.  However, Tadg was involved in the Irish uprising and he and Lilly have to flee Ireland immediately before marrying and head to the United States.  Tadg and Lilly take on assumed names and begin living quiet lives in Chicago.  Unfortunately for them, they eventually are found and Lilly's life changes as she tries to keep her family safe. War again deeply touches Lilly's life when her son, Ed, goes off to the Vietnam War.

The story spans about seven decades of American history.  And all through Lilly's narrative, her Irish background and family are woven in.  Ireland has never left her.  Lilly's life was full of grief, love, mystery, loss, joy...all the emotions that embrace a lifetime.  I thought that the book did an excellent job portraying the aftermath of war in the way it can affect families.

I really enjoy Sebastian Barry's writing, and recommend the books!

I read The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion at the suggestion of my niece. I was glad to try it, since I had certainly read a lot about the book.  I don't know if I knew this or not, but Ms. Didion was married to the author John Gregory Dunne (for 40 years). The book is about her first year following his death.  Not only was she dealing with the unexpected loss of her life partner, but the week before his death, their only child, Quintana, had been hospitalized and was near death.  Ms. Didion was not even able to tell her daughter about her father's death for a few weeks, until the daughter was in better physical shape to learn of it.

The Year of Magical Thinking began.  Not able to get rid of his shoes, because what if he came back and needed his shoes?

"Grief, when it comes, is nothing we expect it to be."

 "Grief is different.  Grief has no distance.  Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehensions that weaken the knees and blink the eyes and obliterate the dailiness of life."

This book was not written as a self-help book, nor would I classify it as that.  I would even hesitate to recommend it to someone who was grieving, yet in the end, I think that I would recommend it.  I read it with two separate views.  As a therapist, I worried about the self-analysis that the author would go into, feeling that she was over analyzing things way too much.  But the wife part of me understood.  That is how one would feel and grieve. Her honesty in the book was much appreciated and is something that I may have to go back to someday. 

Near the end, she wrote of how she really didn't want the year to end.  It meant that John's death "will become something that happened in another year.". 

She wrote:

"I realized today for the first time that my memory of this day a year ago is a memory that does not involve John.  This day a year ago was December 31, 2003.  John did not see this day a year ago.  John was dead."

So very sad.